By Melyssa W.
Telling someone you have romantic feelings for them is the most vulnerable and bold thing you can do. Especially when you don't know whether these feelings will be reciprocated or just plain ole rejected. The last part, that was me about two weeks ago. My impulsive behavior led me to admitting my feelings to someone. I figured I had nothing to lose since he wasn't a stranger, he was someone I’ve known for years. In fact, this was deja vu, revealing my feelings to a person and it always being a toss up on how would he respond. Regardless of the response, I would continue to keep an on/off relationship with him. Well, Not exactly a relationship, but a situationship where I'd hope he'd eventually acknowledge me exclusively. Incase you don't know what a situationship is, it generally starts with the classic lines, “I’m not ready, but I still feeling you” or I’m not ready but I’ll still fuck you”. If any of this sounds familiar, exit stage left immediately. Until about a few days ago, I realized that it was never going to happen, that he never had romantic feelings or respected me as an individual. Realizing that I was too available for him, I felt embarrassed and confused. Why did I like someone that didn't like me? I was chasing someone that will never be available for me.
For a long time I defended our “situationship” or the fact that I was always talking to him when my friends were telling me to let it go. In fact, one of my friends put me onto the term “breadcrumbing”. According to Cosmopolitan magazine, breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages in order to lure a sexual partner without expanding much effort” especially on social media. Watching their stories and liking their photos occasionally sliding in their DMs and telling them unrequited feelings that is just camafloguing their whoreness at the moment.
Breadcrumbing is playing someone because you don't want to let them go, you want to have them on the side as an option, you don’t like them but you want to make sure you stay relevant in their life. They treat you like a human accessory, they will wear you when you match the moment. I finally decided to pay attention and put things into perspective. This is a PSA to anyone that is being breadcrumbed or might be in a situationship, DO BETTER. Do better For yourself. This can affect your confidence by manifesting disastrous insecurities. Find your self-value, rebuild your self-love, realize that you don't deserve to be treated or made to feel unwanted. It's up to you to determine how people respect you and your time. No one on that mistreats you deserves to be in the same room as you, let alone in you. Protect your aura. You are special,radiant, and powerful. If someone doesn't realize this, they need a permanently exit slip in your life.
Life is too short to give useless people space in your life if they can't even reciprocate the same energy. You might feel embarrassed or jaded that you let someone treat you this way. We have all been here, yet as we get older I hope we develop discernment in regards to these played out scenarios. With wisdom and growth, we can find the ways to not be attracted to the people who simply cannot see value in us. It’s not fair to beat yourself up for your vulnerability. Your feelings are valid and just because you decided to act upon them doesn't make you any less of a human being. However you are responsible for who you let into your personal space of being. The best way to alleviate these scenarios, is to completely erase this person from your life. Easier said than done, it takes time it took me a while but start slowly and remember your worth. Treating yourself with a pair or shoes, spa day, go book shopping, try something new. Choose you and love you, and the people who feel the same will reflect that energy, and then some. Why eat crumbs? When you can have the entire loaf?